Here is a tongue-in-cheek- obituary which reportedly appeared recently in the London Times.  It certainly resonated with me; made me laugh a little in a dark sort of way, and in light of current events, I thought it was rather apropos.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who as been with us for many years.  No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

  • knowing when to come in out of the rain
  • why the early bird gets the worm
  • life isn’t always fair
  • maybe it was my fault

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).  His heath began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened Common Senses condition.  He lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that the parents themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.  It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as religious institutions became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims, or the elderly.  It also took a beating when citizens couldn’t defend themselves from a burglar in their own home but the burglar could sue for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.  After spilling it in her lap, she was rewarded by a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife; Discretion; by his daughter, Responsibility; and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his four step brothers:

  • I know my rights
  • I want it now
  • It’s not my fault
  • I’m a victim

Only a few attended the funeral of Common Sense, because so few realized he was gone.  If you still remember him, please pass this on to others who would like to know.

Is there anyone out there who thinks things in our world have gotten just a little too silly?